Patterns You Can't See Alone — Why Being Witnessed Changes Everything
Episode 2 of Wellness Me Up with Intuitive Life Coach Lara Bokovay
You don't need to fix yourself. You need to find yourself.
And yeah... I know that sounds like something you'd see on a throw pillow. But hear me out. Because this conversation with Lara genuinely stopped me in my tracks a few times and I think it might do the same for you.
Hit play if you've been doing all the "right" things and still feeling like... what the actual f*ck is happening here.
🎧 Listen to the episode here:
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Your Body Already Knows. You've Just Stopped Listening.
Here's the thing Lara said early on that I couldn't shake...
Your body is a compass.
Like literally. It's already telling you what's going on. What needs attention. Where to start. We've just gotten so good at living in our heads that we've completely lost the thread back to it.
And when your nervous system is dysregulated — when you're stuck in fight or flight — you literally cannot navigate anything clearly. Not your relationships. Not your purpose. Not your emotional health. Nothing.
The body isn't separate from the healing. It's where the healing actually has to begin. Full stop.
The Thing About Shadows Is... They're Behind You
You can't see what you can't see. That's not a personal failing. That's just how it works.
And this is exactly why being witnessed by someone outside of yourself is such a game changer. A good coach isn't there to fix you or tell you what to do. They're there to reflect back the thing you keep glossing over... the pattern you've mentioned three times without realizing it... the story you've been telling yourself so long it just feels like truth.
Once it's named? You can't unsee it.
And that's where everything starts to shift.
Self-Awareness First. Then Accountability.
Lara was really direct about this and I loved her for it.
The two things that actually move people forward are self-awareness and self-accountability — in that order. You cannot take accountability for something you haven't been able to see yet.
And getting there is uncomfortable as hell. Looking at your own patterns, your conditioning, the ways you've been keeping yourself small... that's genuinely hard work. Lara doesn't sugarcoat it. But she also doesn't leave you in it alone.
That's the whole point of being witnessed. You don't have to do this part by yourself.
There Is No "Healed State." Sorry. (Kind of.)
The WTF wheel landed on this one and honestly... it was perfect.
The question was: what's a belief about wellness you used to hold that you now laugh at?
For Lara it was the idea that you eventually arrive somewhere. That if you just do enough work, go to enough therapy, cry enough in enough parking lots... you'll get to this magical healed state and be done.
Yeah. No.
Healing happens in layers. Life keeps serving up new ones. You can do all the deep inner work in March and still need to actually get through summer barbecues and Christmas to live it out. You can't rush it. You need life to show up and test what you've learned.
And that's not failure. That's just how it actually works.
You're not behind. You're not broken. You might just need someone to witness what you haven't been able to see on your own yet.
Start where you are. Seriously. That's the whole thing.
Want to work with Lara? Lara Bokovay is an Intuitive Life Coach and Certified Executive Coach who helps you come back home to yourself through nervous system regulation, pattern work, and some very direct — but very loving — truth telling. 👉 www.larabokovay.com
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