Episode 43 of Wellness Me Up — Wellness Me Up Diary Entry
with Pregnancy, Postpartum & Parent Coach Nikki Steele Osbourne
Written and hosted by Amanda Reece, founder of Wellness Me Up.
Nikki Steele Osbourne is a pregnancy, postpartum, and parent coach and former hairdresser on a mission to drive home how important head space is when you have kids. This one covers the six human needs, certainty, the 80/20 rule, and why two things can be true at the same time. Also her husband is Eeyore without the depression and I need you to hear about that.
🎧 Listen to the episode here:
▶️ Watch on YouTube
🎵 Listen on Spotify
🌍 Listen on Your Favourite App
Who Is Nikki Steele Osbourne?
Nikki Steele Osbourne is a pregnancy, postpartum, and parent coach based in the UK — and before that she was a hairdresser. Which sounds like a pivot but is actually not. Because anyone who has ever sat in a hairdresser's chair knows that is where people tell you everything. The confidential, intimate, transformative space of someone touching your hair and listening without judgment. Nikki was doing coaching before she knew it was called coaching.
She had her son at 41. The first 18 months were rough — postpartum was not linear, it was not consistent, and she did not say a word about how she was actually feeling for most of it. Because she did not want to worry her family. Because she was living overseas and her support was not close. Because she did not want anyone to think she was not coping.
And that experience is exactly what drives her now. Because there is such a big need for support in this space and it is still so underserved.
She also has a book called Home Bird. And she is the Scottish Soul Sister. More on that at the end.
Your Head Space Is the Thing
This was the through-line of the entire conversation and it is worth naming directly.
Nikki's whole mission is driving home how important it is to look after your own head space when you have kids. Not just your physical health. Not just your diet or your sleep or your routine. Your head space.
Because when you become a parent everything changes at 100 miles an hour and nobody really prepares you for what that does to the inside of your mind. The identity shift. The loss of certainty. The financial change if you have stepped back from work. The isolation. The massive love sitting right next to the massive overwhelm.
And most parents — especially new ones — are being told to fix it with morning routines and meal plans and five-step systems. And Nikki says — that is not it. That is not what this space needs.
What it needs is someone to actually listen. And then help you understand yourself well enough to make decisions from there.
The Six Human Needs
This is the framework at the core of everything Nikki does and once she explained it I immediately understood why.
The six human needs are certainty, variety, love and connection, significance, growth, and contribution. And most of us have a primary need — the one that drives us most. The one that when it is not being met sends everything sideways.
Nikki's is certainty. She is system-oriented, routine-oriented, likes the familiar. Which is why becoming a new parent at 41 hit her so hard — because her certainty was completely blown apart. She could not sleep. She could not carry out her routines. She had a new human who needed her constantly and nothing was predictable anymore.
Once she understood that — once she could look back and say oh, this is why it hit me so hard, this is what was being impacted — everything started to make more sense. And that is what she helps her clients do. Not fix everything overnight. Just plant the seed of understanding. So that as things evolve they have something to come back to.
I shared my own version of this. When I was diagnosed with cancer I did not tell anyone for months. Because there was so much uncertainty about what was happening and what the results would be — and certainty is something I deeply need too. I did not want to create chaos and confusion around me when I was not yet sure in myself. I needed to get grounded first. And when people eventually found out they said nothing had me. And I was like — yes, because I had processed enough of it that I could hold it steadily before I brought it into the world.
Certainty. It is a real thing. And knowing that about yourself changes how you show up.
Side note — diary entry well fuck moment.
I think mine is growth. Not in the "I need to constantly work on myself" kind of way — I think I need to feel like my life is expanding, evolving, moving, becoming. It actually explains a fucking lot. 😂
Why I traded stability for being a digital nomad. Why I'm building Wellness Me Up instead of just sticking with work I already know how to do. Why I'm constantly curious about my own patterns and what I'm outgrowing. Even in relationships, I don't just want connection — I want someone I can expand with. Travel, explore, create, learn, do life together.
I think the second something starts making my world feel smaller instead of bigger, something in me starts screaming, okay, we need to move.
Maybe that's the thread underneath so many of my choices: I need to feel like my life is getting bigger, not smaller.
Simple. Sustainable. Self-Care.
This was Nikki's tagline and it landed immediately because it is the opposite of what the wellness industry usually sells.
No groundbreaking new modality. No ten-step system. No New Year resolution that has you eating cabbage soup and going to the gym five days a week for three weeks and then crashing.
Simple. Sustainable. What you can actually maintain without putting impossible pressure on yourself.
Nikki's own example is a seven-minute low-impact workout every morning followed by a shower. Seven minutes. That is it. And she holds that one seven-minute workout responsible for everything she has achieved in the last six months. Because it started her day in a different mindset. And from that mindset came better decisions. And from those decisions came better moods. And from there — everything else.
Simple works. And we keep being sold complicated because complicated is more profitable than simple.
The 80/20 Rule
This is how Nikki manages everything and I want to put it somewhere visible in my life immediately.
She does not say she is going to work out seven days a week. She does it five days a week — not at weekends, not on holidays — and across the whole year it lands at about 80%. Same with food. Generally healthier through the week. At the weekend the other 20% kicks in because she is human and she wants to enjoy her life.
The reason this works is that it removes the all-or-nothing thinking that tanks most people. When you set a goal of 100% and miss a day your brain says see? Useless. You cannot even do that. And then the spiral starts.
When you set 80% as the benchmark you have already built in grace. You have already accounted for being human. And when you hit 80% you feel like you have succeeded — because you have.
It is not lowering your expectations. It is managing your expectations. And there is a huge difference.
I also shared my own version of this around the discipline muscle. Nikki used that phrase and I had never heard it put that way before. Because discipline gets demonized — everyone acts like it is harsh or punishing. But without some discipline how do you actually build anything? And the answer is the rest muscle too. You need both. Two things can be true at the same time.
Two Things Can Be True at the Same Time
This is the line I want on a wall somewhere and Nikki uses it constantly in her parenting work.
She uses it for new parents who feel like they cannot be both exhausted and in love. Both overwhelmed and grateful. Both not coping and still a good parent. And she says — yes you can. Because that is exactly what it looks like. That is the reality of this season of life.
Stop looking for the one box. You do not fit in one box. None of us do. And spending energy trying to force yourself into a single narrative is just exhausting on top of everything else that is already exhausting.
You can be both. You are allowed to be both. And naming that out loud to a new parent who has been trying to reconcile the contradiction by themselves — that is often the moment things shift.
Loosen Your Grip
This was the thread that ran through the second half of the conversation and it connected to so much of my own journey.
Nikki talked about loosening her grip — stopping feeling responsible for everyone else's reactions, emotions, and outcomes. And when she did that the weight she had been carrying just lifted. She focused on her son, her husband, her business, and how she could help people. And she stopped carrying everything else.
I shared my own version of this. I was such a control freak. I tried to control outcomes, control other people, manage every piece of the dynamic I was in. And I did it in my family. And I did it with this platform. The reason Wellness Me Up was not moving forward for a long time was because I was trying to control how it was eventually going to be.
And then I identified it. And as soon as I got rid of all the complicated shit and simplified — things moved. My lawyer said this is so streamlined when she got the final documents. And I thought yes. Because I got out of my own way.
Loosen your grip. Stop overcomplicating things. Simplify. One small decision can open up so many possibilities.
Eeyore Without the Depression
I have to talk about this because it is one of the best descriptions of a partner I have ever heard.
Nikki's husband is Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. But without the depression. He is steady. He is calm. He is the yin to her yang. She is up and talking and moving and he just... holds things steady.
And it works both ways. She brings him up when he needs it. He brings her down — in the best possible way — when she needs to regulate.
I want that. When she described it I was like that is exactly the kind of energy I want around me. Someone who soothes and steadies without shutting things down.
Also — he will never send the food back in a restaurant. She absolutely will. And they model both of those things for their son. Which is the point.
The WTF Wheel Question: What's Something Good for You That You Still Resist Every Time?
Exercise. Nikki goes to a boot camp class every Wednesday and grudgingly goes every single time and is buzzing after it every single time. And still does not do it as much as she knows she should.
Because our brains can talk us out of anything. Like a toddler in a store who does not want to leave even though it is clearly time to go.
I jumped in with walking. Because of how I lived before my hysterectomy I had accepted — and been told — that I was someone who did not move. That was who I was. Lazy. And even now, even after all the reprogramming, there are still moments when a part of my brain fires that old signal. You do not want to go for a walk. That hurts. Stay cozy.
And I have to tell that part of my brain to shut the fuck up. Not always. Sometimes cozy wins and that is fine. But other times — discipline. Kick yourself out the door. And you will be glad you did.
What Wellness Me Up Means to Nikki
Having a life that you want to live. Being honest about what that looks like for you. And getting off your ass — which comes in different shapes and forms.
She has lived in four countries. She did not settle for anything that was not meant for her — in relationships, in work, in life. And because of that she eventually got the family she wanted, the work she loves, and a husband who is calm and steady and everything she needed.
And now she gets to look at her nine-year-old son and know that she is showing him what wellness looks like. How to regulate. How to express emotions. How to do it on their own terms.
That is wellness. That is Nikki.
Want to work with Nikki?
Nikki Steele Osbourne is a pregnancy, postpartum, and parent coach offering simple, sustainable support for parents who need to get their head space back. Her digital guide Stepping Into Parenthood is self-paced and built around the six human needs — a genuinely different approach to parenting support.
👉 thescottishsoulsister.com
📱 Instagram, Facebook & LinkedIn: The Scottish Soul Sister
If this one made you want to do a seven-minute workout and then think about your head space... do both. And subscribe to Wellness Me Up wherever you listen.
🎧 Listen to the episode here:
▶️ Watch on YouTube
🎵 Listen on Spotify
🌍 Listen on Your Favourite App
