Snakes and Ladders. Keep Rolling.
Episode 28 of Wellness Me Up — Wellness Me Up Diary Entry with Coach, Author & Straight Talker Sarah Kay Brown
Written and hosted by Amanda Reece, founder of Wellness Me Up.
Sarah Kay Brown is a straight talking coach and author based in the UK helping people get out of their own way and start living at their optimal. She also has a Snakes and Ladders analogy for wellness that just kicks ass — and reminds you that no matter what happens you are never pushed off the board. Keep rolling.
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Who Is Sarah Kay Brown?
Sarah Kay Brown is a coach, author, workshop facilitator, and straight talker based in the UK who works primarily with identity and life transitions — and all the ways those two things ripple out into every other area of your life.
She is not a people pleaser. She will lovingly call you out. And she will not let you stay comfortable in a story that is keeping you stuck.
She also has some genuinely excellent analogies. More on that shortly.
It All Starts With Identity
Sarah works across all six areas of wellness but if she had to pick one it would be identity and life transitions — because identity underpins everything else.
How you identify shapes how you show up in relationships. How you feel about money. Whether you apply for the job or talk yourself out of it before you even try. Whether you believe you can receive good things or whether some part of you is quietly convinced you cannot.
She made a point early in this conversation that I loved. The same person who will not walk under a ladder because they are 100% certain something bad will happen... cannot give themselves 50% odds on getting a job they want. It is either a yes or a no. Fifty fifty. But the inner critic has already decided the answer.
That is identity work. That is what Sarah is in the business of changing.
You Do Not Need Clarity to Start
Sarah made a point here that resonated with me — and ties into my own Aim and Align manifesting framework too. Aspiring is a core part of how I think about manifesting, and Sarah's approach to getting there is really interesting.
A lot of manifesting books and coaching frameworks start with clarity. Get clear on what you want. Know your vision. Set your intention. And Sarah says — that puts so many people off before they even begin. Because most people do not have clarity. They just know something feels off.
Her ideal client is actually the person who has no idea what they want. Because that was her for years. And so instead of starting with the goal she starts with the nervous system.
Because if you are running on survival mode — fight or flight, inner critic driving the bus, reacting instead of choosing — you cannot make good decisions from that place. You cannot access what you actually want. You are just trying to get through the day.
So she regulates first. And then she gets curious. And if the person still does not know what they want she asks them what they do not want. And almost every time — without prompting — the opposite emerges naturally.
I don't want that becomes oh wait, I actually want this instead.
That is where the aha moment lives. And Sarah loves those moments.
Whose Voice Is Still Driving Your Bus?
I jumped all over this one the second she said it. I love a good analogy and this one is genuinely great.
Sarah uses a framework called NUR — Notice it. Understand it. Redirect it. And in the understanding phase she asks clients to look at a limiting belief and trace it back. Where did this come from? Whose voice is it? When did you first decide this was your absolute truth?
And people will remember a memory from when they were eight years old. A teacher. A parent. A sibling. Someone who said something that landed and stayed. And that eight year old is still driving the bus today. Still making the decisions. Still telling you that you are not good enough or not qualified or not worthy of the thing you want.
Once you see it you cannot unsee it. And that is when the real work — the work that happens outside the sessions — begins.
She also shared a story about a client who wrote her dream job on a piece of paper and put it on the fridge and looked at it every single day. Eight months later she messaged Sarah. She had got the job.
People Pleasing and Protecting Your Energy
I shared a lot in this episode. More than I expected to. Meh... I hope it finds the person it can resonate with. I am very transparent now about the addictions in my family, the enmeshment, the enabling that went on, and how I am now estranged from them. It is my story and I own it.
We got into people pleasing and boundaries and how hard it is to choose yourself when you have spent your whole life being the person who shows up for everyone else. I talked about my brother — still an active addict — and how I finally got to a point where I did not want to be around the conversations anymore. Did not want to sit at family gatherings and listen to it.
And working with someone helped me see that I did not have to. I could just get up and leave. Set that boundary. Exit the conversation.
Well... people do not like it when you set boundaries because you are no longer showing up and participating in the same way that makes them comfortable. I was told by numerous family members how selfish and unreasonable I was being. And that was the first thing I had ever done purely for myself. The first time I had chosen my own peace over keeping everyone else comfortable.
Sarah said something about this that I want everyone to hear. People do not have to understand you. They just have to accept you. She lives by that. And I think I am going to start living by it too.
She also said — and this is very Sarah — boundaries are not selfish. They are protecting your energy. Because if you are pouring from an empty cup you are no good to anyone anyway.
The Snakes and Ladders Analogy
Okay. Here it is. The one I have been building to.
Sarah said life is like a game of Snakes and Ladders. And everyone's board is different — your starting point, your upbringing, your circumstances, the goals you are working toward. Some people start on a different square than others. That is just true.
And the aim is to get to the top. But it is never linear. Some days you roll a one and you move slowly. Some days you roll a six and shoot up a ladder and feel unstoppable. And then something happens — a setback, a loss, a curveball, a snake — and you slide back down.
But here is the thing. When you land on a snake and slide back down... you are never pushed off the board.
This was such a creative and useful visual. You are going to land on snakes. Heck some people in your wellness journey may actually BE the snake lol. What matters is that you keep rolling. Pick up the dice. Roll again. The board is still yours.
The Weirdest Wellness Thing We Have Ever Tried
The WTF wheel landed perfectly here.
Sarah did a three day juice cleanse some years ago. Was violently ill during it. Was ill for days after it stopped. Would not recommend it. Will never do it again. End of story.
I did the HCG diet in my twenties — drops, extreme restriction, lost a significant amount of weight. And then gained it back plus more because nobody tells you what happens after. Your metabolism is wrecked. Your body has been through something. And none of it teaches you how to actually live differently.
We also talked about the cabbage soup diet. The Special K diet. Heroin chic. Bikini body in six weeks. All of it.
And then I shared that I have now released ninety pounds — and every ten of it has happened differently. Some months slowly. Some months not at all. My body has been doing a lot of work in the background after decades of endometriosis and everything that came with it. It is not fast. It is not a formula. It is just me and my body figuring it out together.
What Wellness Me Up Means to Sarah Kay Brown
Living at your optimal.
She used the analogy of a blood test — your results come back in a range, and if you are on the low end of safe it is still safe, still okay, still fine. But it is not optimal. And so many of us have settled at the low end of safe. We have a roof. A job. A relationship. We are not sick. We are not failing. But we are not lit up either.
Wellness Me Up is leveling up from safe to optimal. Getting excited to wake up in the morning. Living a life that actually feels like yours.
Because one day you are going to be eighty years old and you are going to look back. And the question is going to be — did you put enough into yourself? Were you brave enough? Did you keep rolling?
Want to work with Sarah Kay Brown?
Sarah Kay Brown is a straight talking coach, author, and workshop facilitator based in the UK working with identity, life transitions, and helping people get out of their own way and start living at their optimal.
👉 sarahkcoaching.co.uk
📱 Instagram: @sarahkcoaching
If this one made you want to pick up the dice and roll again... do it. And subscribe to Wellness Me Up wherever you listen.
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