Eat the Cake. The Shame Spiral Can F*ck Off. — Menopause, Midlife & Why Wellness Isn't a Punishment
Episode 11 of Wellness Me Up with Certified Menopause Coach & Personal Trainer Kim Winsor
The fitness industry is counting on you to fail. Kim Winsor is here to blow that whole thing up — one tiny habit, one honest conversation, and one slice of Karen's birthday cake at a time.
If you'd like to unsubscribe from shame... this one's for you.
🎧 Listen to the episode here:
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The Doorway Is the Body. The Real Work Is Everything Else.
Kim is a certified menopause coach, personal trainer, and Precision Nutrition certified coach. And she'll be the first to tell you that most women come to her thinking they need a meal plan and a workout schedule.
They don't.
What they actually need is someone to help them figure out what the hell is happening in their body... and then to stop making them feel like garbage about it.
The physical stuff — the sleep issues, the midline weight gain, the energy crashing at 2pm — that's the doorway. But when you get a little deeper? It's almost always a life transition. An identity shift. A psychological reckoning with the fact that your body is changing and nobody prepared you for any of it.
The body is where it shows up. But it's rarely where it starts.
Stop. You Don't Need a Meal Plan.
Kim has strong feelings about meal plans. As in... she thinks they're a joke.
And not in a dismissive way. In a this-is-actually-harming-people way.
Here's what happens with a meal plan. You follow it perfectly for two weeks. Then life happens — Karen has a birthday, you have a stressful week, you're exhausted and you just want takeout — and you go off it. And then the shame spiral starts. What's wrong with me? I have no discipline. I can't do anything right.
And then six weeks later the same program is on sale again and you buy it again because you've convinced yourself that you failed... when really the plan failed you.
The fitness industry thrives on this cycle. They count on you falling off. They want you to rebound. Because that's how they keep making money.
Kim is not interested in that. She builds with you instead of prescribing to you. She asks what feels good, what's working, what's the next small thing you can actually sustain. And she's honest — like genuinely, no bullshit honest — that it's going to take a while. And that's okay. Because the goal isn't the 30 day transformation. The goal is the rest of your life.
The Menopause Vision Statement — Looking Forward Instead of Back
One of the first things Kim has clients do is write a midlife vision statement. And she knows it sounds woo woo. She said so herself.
But here's why it works.
So many women at this stage are looking backwards. Wishing their body still looked the way it used to. Grieving things they've lost. Measuring themselves against a version of themselves that no longer exists.
And Kim gently redirects that gaze forward. Because postmenopausal life is a long time. Like... a really long time. So how do you actually want to live it? What does that look like? And what tiny things can you start doing today that move you toward that vision instead of away from it?
It sounds simple. It shifts everything.
The Annoying Girl at Work Stopped Being Annoying
This is the kind of result Kim is talking about when she talks about progress.
Not visible abs. Not a number on a scale. Not a before and after photo.
Five weeks in with a client — nothing hardcore, just subtle consistent tweaks — Kim asked her what felt different. And the client said...
The annoying girl at work doesn't bother me anymore. I'm not out of breath on the stairs. I'm sleeping better. I'm not scrolling as much.
That's it. That's the whole thing. That's what actually changes your life. The mood stabilizing. The energy evening out. The groundedness that comes from just... showing up for yourself consistently in small ways.
Those aren't side effects. That IS the result.
The WTF Wheel Question: What's Your Version of Self Care That No Wellness Influencer Would Ever Post?
Oh this one. This one delivered.
I shared something in this episode that made Kim tear up a bit …
After my cervical cancer diagnosis — which led to the discovery of stage four endometriosis, which finally gave my body the ability to move and function the way it was supposed to — I released 80 pounds over three years (and still going!). Not through restriction or punishment. Through finally having a body that worked.
But I still go back to her sometimes... “The girl on the couch” as I call her. She had a sedentary diseased body for 10+ years. And she was most comfortable when she had days “perfecting the art of doing nothing” and sitting on the couch, snacking and watching TV. So… I grab her favourite snacks and I go and sit on the couch. I sit with her. I acknowledge her. I talk to her about where we are now and how far we've come. I don't pretend she doesn't exist anymore or that she's been fully left behind. I find a way to feed and soothe her because she still lives in me too.
And just to be real with you — I don't have abs. I was over 300 pounds before my surgery. I have a long way to go and I know that. I have healthier boundaries with food now but I still have dessert. I still have a bag of chips or popcorn. I still enjoy the things that once were my whole world on that couch.
Sometimes I think that girl on the couch died directly after my surgery because I've changed so much that she feels like a completely different person. But she didn't die. She exists inside of me. I was her once. Day in and day out. And I'm not going to pretend she didn't happen just because my life looks different now.
Showing up for your past self without shame? That might be one of the most powerful things you can do on this whole wellness journey.
Kim got a little teary listening. And honestly... same.
Nourish. Don't Punish.
This is the whole philosophy in two words.
Movement that feels good. Nutrition that supports you. Celebrating the fact that you grabbed heavier weights on your bicep curls this week. Noticing that you had salad instead of a burger three days out of five and calling that a win instead of obsessing over the other two.
And if someone in your feed — influencer, physician, coach, anyone — is making you feel doubtful or ashamed or like you're doing everything wrong?
Unfollow. Immediately. They are not your people.
You don't need perfect. You need sustainable. You need someone in your corner who sees where you actually are and helps you take the next tiny step from there.
Not someone selling you a 30 day fix so they can sell it to you again in six weeks when you inevitably fall off because you're a human being and not a machine.
What Wellness Me Up Means to Kim
The micro layers. The 1% better every day. The tiny compounding habits that don't look like much individually but add up to something completely different over time.
And this question she keeps coming back to that I love so much...
What would someone who has this figured out do right now?
Not perfectly. Not dramatically. Just... what's the next small thing? What's the next layer? What would that version of you do in this moment?
That's it. That's how you wellness up.
Want to work with Kim? Kim Winsor is a certified menopause coach, personal trainer, and Precision Nutrition certified coach who helps midlife women build realistic routines for their changing bodies — without the meal plans, the shame spirals, or the boiled chicken breasts. Virtual coaching available. Group coaching coming soon.
👉 blazewell.ca 📱 Instagram: @blazewellcoaching 📘 Facebook: Blazewell Menopause Coaching 📧 kim@blazewell.ca
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🎧 Listen to the episode here:
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